The Most Epic Day In the History of Andrew (…Sort of)

The following is a rundown of the series of events that comprised the most epic day in the history of Andrew (…sort of):
6:40 AM:  I Awake
7:45 AM:  I leave for work
8:04 AM:  I arrive at work
4:00 PM:  I leave work and drive home.  I load my bike onto the car and get the address for The King’s English Bookshop.
4:40 PM:  I leave for the bookstore
5:00 PM:  I arrive at the bookstore.  I frantically search around for a few moments before an employee asked if she can help me.
     “I’m looking for the magic”, I say…no, not really, I actually say: “I’m looking for the David Cross book”.
     “Up front,” She replies, “there’s only a few left.”
I head to the front, there is a short line now that wasn’t there when I walked in.  I’m anxious.  I can see the books on the counter.  There’s only 4 left.
5:05 PM:  I purchase THE 2ND TO LAST COPY of I Drink for A Reason and am directed out and around to the back of the store where the line starts.
5:10 PM:  David Fucking Cross himself takes the book from my hands.  I drop the following, premeditated, cheese line:
     “There’s been a misunderstanding.  I thought the book was The Man Inside Me, but I suppose this will do”
He forces a chuckle.  How could I have been so vain to think that I could get a laugh out of such a god of comedy?  He takes a swig of his “Poligamy Porter” 3% alcohol Utah beer and, on the title page of my book, writes this:

Andrew,
I’m not really gay.
-David Cross

5:20 PM:  I leave the bookstore, head to Paradise Bakery and order a half sandwich and salad.  I am given a whole sandwich by mistake.
6:00 PM:  I ride off my jittery boyish excitement as I climb up an amazing Utah canyon bursting with fall color. (I bet you were wondering what the hell the bike was for)